A few days ago, I was able to scrub in on a surgery with my Career Mentor, a Pediatric Surgeon. She had texted me the day before saying she had a bile duct reconstruction of a newborn the next morning and asked if I wanted to scrub.

Of course I said yes.

So after (finally) learning to scrub in the proper way (to ensure a sterile environment) I walked in the operating room...a.k.a. Sauna-the room had to be kept very very warm to keep the baby warm. But once I glanced at the table, my heart absolutely broke. On the operating table, lay a tiny, helpless, fragile, 10-day old little baby girl. I thought, Wow, I can't believe she has to be cut open.

Dr. S came in and explained the procedure, basically the baby had a cyst about the size of a baseball lodged between her liver, gall blader, kidney, and stomach. Earlier I had mentioned Dr. S said it would be a reconstruction, well we ended up completely taking the gall bladder (as well as, of course, the cyst) out and then had to reconstruct a lot of different (technical) things to ensure that her insides would work! At one point in the surgery, spilled out from the huge incision on her stomach were all of her intestines...which, for a baby are not terribly huge, but still big. Basically at that point, all of her insides were, outsides (bad joke, sorry). As I was helping, I thought about my friend M's new baby, and how I had held her the day before. I was overwhelmed with a sense of thankfulness, in seeing the huge contrast between these two babies, one incredibly sick and the other perfectly healthy. Thanks, God, for making us healthy. I just pray he'll help me figure out if I want to be the one fixing the incredibly sick.


Bittersweet Christmas

I put a special twist on Christmas gifts. This year, I commented on the box holding the Snuggie I gave my brother. Circling one of the models wearing the Snuggie, I wrote "DUFUS!!!" Everyone loved it. Sweet

My brother also got the new Michael Jackson CD from my parents. All four kids stayed around in the living room after all the gifts were given and danced for hours to the CD. It was a BLAST. SWEET

At my Nana's for lunch, my two-year old cousin quickly learned what it took to get the attention of the many adults eating lunch around him (aka....not much!). Sweet

Sitting down to open gifts in the living room, my Nana started to talk to everyone, and couldn't get through it without getting upset. She said, "I just couldn't bring myself to do shopping this year, but I want you all to remember the gift of God, so that we all can join in Heaven together.

This was the first year without Grandaddy at Christmas. No santa, so no "special selected santa's helpter," no $20 made out of $2 bills in film canisters for each grandchild, no santa hat plopped up on his head. This was the bitter part of Christmas. Being in the room without the leader, and trying to make everything normal. My uncle, however, gave us hope by saying the days like March 18's , and the dreaded December 26's won't happen in Heaven. He said the God put those types of days in our lives as reminders of what we have to look forward to, Life without misery and without March 18's. That was sweet.