Stressin’ out lately, to say the least. I realize i’m only a freshman in college, but for some reason I’ve decided to join the group of liberals on campus who are trying to radically change LOTS. Well, I shouldn’t say this in negatively, because i’m a huge fan of change, and a huge fan of making things more sustainable and more environmentally friendly; but the problem with this is that I may have just spread myself too thin in some areas, and have undertaken more than I can handle.
You see, this is what I might pinpoint as my biggest strength and biggest weakness at the same time. Actually I didn’t realize this until I got to thinkin’ about my biggest strength/weakness for a camp application recently. I am extremely passionate, about lots and lots of things. Like I want to know the Bible in and out, I love that it’s like a big puzzle to me, and that each time I get in the word I just can’t stop exploring different cross references, and one thing always leads to another. Like I love exploring ways to live holistically, and live as natural a life as possible, as close to the earth as possible. I absolutely love life, and am just a big feeler I guess you could say. I love to love. If there is something that is wrong then I will stand strongly against it until it can be changed, or if I can clearly see a better alternative that would definitely result in more beneficial results, I like to figure out ways to implement that solution. I have deep relationships with people, and absolutely can’t stand surface-level friendships. If i’m gonna know somebody, or if I meet somebody, I want to really know them and love on them with all I’ve got. This is where it’s also to my disadvantage. I think about doing so much (emphasis on thinking, a LOT), but usually it only goes that far, because there is so much that I’d like to do, but only a certain amount of things get done, so it just starts to be a stress and anxiety trigger. And with relationships with other people, it just starts to make me sad when I can’t have deep level friendships with everyone, and when I can’t always spend a lot of time in developing strong foundations with others. So I spread myself too thin. I guess this isn’t the worst thing to have as your biggest weakness, I don’t know.
So back to the point, right now I’m stressin’ out because since I’ve got involved with a lot of radical groups on campus, I feel like I’ve got a lot of responsibility to help my college undergo huge changes, and I know I can do it, it’s just hard to actually put all the talk into action sometimes, ya know? I was nominated to be the student chair of something on campus called the Green Fee Committee, which is basically a committee that accepts proposals written by anyone on campus (meaning both faculty and students) to help the process of “greening” our campus in the area of sustainability that they are most committed. And while I love that I was asked to be the chair of the committee, and am so honored, I also feel huge pressure to submit great proposals. I’m in the process of writing two right now, and let’s hope they get approved (because technically, even though I am on the committee that decides which are approved and which aren’t, I can’t advocate for my own proposals). First all-night of the semester? Why yes, I think that option sounds lovely. (sarcasm)
But in the midst of this, I’m just constantly reminding myself of a verse that’s quite possibly in my top ten list, Philippians 4:6-“Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, present your requests to God with thanksgiving.” Also, one of my favorite artists right now, Lecrae, posted this on his Facebook page tonight, “Keep praying. When you stop praying you stop hoping.” Thanks, God, for sending me your little reminders like that just when I need them most.